A few years ago I was visiting my family for the holidays. It was Christmas Eve, and while everyone was downstairs celebrating, I was holed up in my childhood bedroom, in the dark, staring into the lonely blue light of my laptop screen.
Every few moments, peals of laughter echoed from the kitchen, disturbing my concentration. Sounds that should have filled my heart with joy left me exasperated. I had one final task to finish before I could join the party, pour myself a glass of wine and get tipsy in front of the fire with the people I love.
But focusing proved nearly impossible.
As the minutes passed, I grew increasingly angry — at myself for spending precious hours of my holiday working, at the client for their demands and at the work for existing. While everyone was sharing a moment of unbridled yuletide cheer, I sat tethered to my laptop. I could have been thousands of miles away. Physically I was there, but I wasn’t there.
I could feel the tears welling and, at that moment, I vowed never to let work invade my holidays ever again.
Of course, as marketers, we know that’s a tough promise to keep.
Sure, so far I’ve never spent another Christmas that way, but there’s been plenty of times I snuck away to answer an email or handle a “few quick edits.” (And that’s still not OK.)
To help create better balance and reclaim my holidays, here are three mantras I’ve been using over the past few years to stay more present:
1. It’s not life or death.
Let me be clear: I don’t say this to trivialize the importance of our work. Marketers help spread important messages, and some of these efforts may indeed save lives. (For example, a healthcare marketer who publishes an article sharing the warning signs of a heart attack.)
And much of our work serves to help people find the products and services that’ll make their lives a little easier — which is still a noble cause in my book.
But here’s the thing: if you don’t check your email on Thanksgiving or choose to push off a project deadline a few days so your team can enjoy a holiday, it’s pretty unlikely your decisions will have dire consequences — if any at all.
2. You need to recharge.
This past summer, my husband and I spent a week in Aruba. It was a perfect vacation filled with delicious food, constant sunshine and the most picturesque beaches I’ve ever encountered. Our last night on the island, as we watched the sun dip below the horizon, I turned to my husband and, with total sincerity, said I was excited to get back to work.
When we left for our trip, I was frazzled and exhausted. Once we arrived, I set work aside and completely immersed myself in my vacation more than I ever have before. By the time we returned, I had a dozen fresh ideas I couldn’t wait to explore.
Marketers (and particularly those of us in creative roles) are naturally passionate people. We have a tendency to dive headfirst into our work and become utterly consumed. We miss sleep, eat sad desk lunches and forego vacation days lest we lose a single productive moment.
But the older I get, the more serious I take my time off. That’s because I know the time I spend unplugged is restorative. And when I return to my work, my creativity burns a thousand times brighter.
3. You don’t want regrets.
When you miss critical family moments because you were too busy working, it’s not uncommon to feel resentful towards the work itself. But here’s the problem: it’s totally self-inflicted. Sometimes it’s because of poor planning, failing to set proper expectations for your clients or because you have an unhealthy addiction to your work.
(Or you have a boss who forces you to work during your time off — in which case it’s time to update your resume and GTFO.)
If you continue to allow your work to consume your entire life, you’re going to have regrets. Maybe not now, and maybe not even a year from now. But someday you’re going to look back on the moments you squandered, and you’re going to be really pissed at yourself. Don’t let that happen.
So whether you’re celebrating Christmas with your loved ones this week, preparing to jet off to a tropical locale or just taking a long weekend to focus on some much-needed self-care, stick to your guns. You deserve this time, you earned this time and, most importantly, you’ll never get this time back.
Happy holidays, friends!
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